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Tana Marie's Monthly Romance Column and Love Tip Newsletter

By Tana Marie

Summer Lovin'

• Revisit why you love your partner, and why you got together in the first place.
  
  
• Do my "Romantic Check-up" with your partner to make sure you're both on track and happy with your relationship. (Here's the link: http://www.passionisland.us/love_tips_2.htm)
  
  
• Work on spicing up your romance by trying something new, going somewhere new, role-playing, or by taking a fabulous vacation together where the stage will already be set for romance.
  
  
• If you have kids, the summer can put even more of a strain on your romance, so while you're making family plans, be sure to include "Just Adults" activities too.
  
  
• Communicate, communicate, communicate! If something is amiss, talk about it. This is NOT the time to sweep problems under the rug. Remember? Heat also = Flaring Tempers. Couples are more apt to have arguments in the summer, due to heat, humidity, kids out of school, life, increased obligations and simple exhaustion.
  
  
• Do a recommitment ceremony of some sort. Married's, go somewhere special and renew your vows, either "officially" or casually - just reconnect with the love you have for one another. If you're not married, do your own version of a recommitment activity. Say "I love you" for possibly the first time, go to the restaurant you had your first date and say why you're grateful you are in one another's lives, go to the park, beach or other outdoor location to declare your love for each other. It doesn't matter as much WHAT you do, JUST DO IT! Your loving intention creates the proper atmosphere.

• Longer evenings mean people are out later, in greater numbers, in more venues. Go out to different activities, sporting events, outdoor concerts, Wine & Art Festivals and be open to saying "Hi" to an intriguing stranger.
  
  
• Because passion is running in high gear, it's more important to be as AUTHENTIC as possible. DON'T PLAY GAMES, no matter how tempting. You'll be the one who loses in the end.
  
  
• Ask this potential love intelligent questions, be yourself, get to know them BEFORE becoming intimate. Yes, I know, resisting the temptation of ripping their clothes off might be more difficult now, but take it slow. Building anticipation will pay off big time, once you know this person is worth your time, attention and heart.
  
  
• Don't let the Sun, heat, smell of suntan lotion, or that Mai Tai go to your head. All the healthy romance and safe sex rules still apply.
  
  
• Just because you're on vacation, in a different location or just outta the office, it doesn't mean you can suspend common sense or become brain dead. You know what I'm saying... "It won't matter... I'm on vacation..." or "Nobody knows me here, so I can..." or "I'd NEVER do this at home, but as long as I'm here, why not?" Unfortunately, STDs, rape, abduction and other nastiness, happen in record numbers in the summer, whether you're at home or not, on vacation or not, or if you use your head or not, so ALWAYS PLAY IT SAFE!

• If it happens close to home, you'll have a much better chance of it continuing on into the future, simply because it's easier to establish a "normal" dating routine. Remember the GD vs GU rule? (Geographly Desirable vs Geographically Undesirable) Usually GD wins out.

• Decide weather or not you want to establish a relationship, or you just want to hook-up and have fun, with no future involvement. Be honest with yourself, and your partner. Don't convince yourself, or the other person, that you want an ongoing romance, if a summer fling is all you really want.
  
  
• Secondly, DON'T expect to establish instant history. Remember, Heat = Speed and Passion. There is a natural tendency to think that because everything else is moving so swiftly, the emotional bond is developing that fast also. Nope, not usually the case. People bond emotionally at their own speed. Just because the vacation clock is ticking, and soon this magical rendezvous will have to end, so many try to create an artificial sense of history and longevity. If there is enough chemistry, common values and vision of the future, the relationship will continue long after summer becomes a beautiful memory.
  
  
• Lastly, be as REAL, authentic and honest as you can, especially if you want this fling to turn into the real thing. Lying to impress is never good, and if it's only a fling, you'll probably get away with it. But if you want a shot at lasting love, honesty and authenticity is essential. Would you want a partner who lies to you? Of course not, so don't start ANY encounter with lies!